Zen and the Art of Losing Your Restraints

Posted on 05/03/2011 by Mihkael Fournier

Part Two: Why Not?

If it’s not common knowledge already, I’m a clown magician who volunteers for Hospice, doing my part for the compassionate art of humor therapy. With giving performances in nursing homes and assisted living facilities, I meet a lot of elderly people from all sorts of backgrounds. And, no matter what that background is, I have found that those I’ve spoken with generally fit into one or two categories. The first group is one collected from those filled with regret. It’s easy to pick them out, really. They’re usually depressed, staring off into the distance or looking aimlessly around, and all their stories either start with or end with, “I wish I would have…” or “oh, if only I…” (Always reminds me of the line: “I could have been a contender.”)

Of course, that other group I mentioned – just the opposite. They’re always smiling, very friendly, often out-going without shame or restraint, and filled with tales of all the things they did in life: “I was a burlesque dancer in France just after the war.” “I performed in a Vaudeville act. We didn’t ever make it big, but boy! Was that fun! I even met Harpo Marx once! Couldn’t understand a word he said, though, but he was one hell of a great guy!” “My sister and I were always getting into trouble. We snuck in the country fair and filled all the pie pans with pig slop just before the pie eating contest… man! Did we ever get it for that one! Never stopped us, though.”

Meeting them, one cannot help but wonder: Why didn’t everyone just follow their desires, play out their passions, and live out their dreams? And, before one can even attempt to toss an answer at that, the epiphany hits: When I get that old, which group would I fit in?

Seems to me, at the end of it all, life is about your collection of experiences and how you perceive them. Sure, attitude and such factor into this, but the bottom line is the same: either you will be filled with regret or you will actually look back and laugh like the old cliché says. (Can it really be that simple?)

All and all, this opened my eyes. I decided to look at all the “crazy” ideas I’ve come up with and asked myself what was stopping me from doing them. Surprisingly, the answer came quickly: I was too wrapped up with trying to figure out the how’s and the why’s… all along dreaming about “if only.” I was trying too hard to analyze, estimate, and predict… and not at all attempting to truly test my theories. Was it the fear that I would fail? Was I afraid to succeed? Did I doubt it would work? Did I doubt anyone would be interested? Blah, blah, blah, blah, and blah.

Why was I asking myself all these questions? I didn’t have the answers – there was no way I could. All I had was a fistful of speculations and a mouthful of blah. I didn’t have the facts. I never went out and tried to gather them. I was just researching other people’s experiences instead of creating my own. I was spending all my time thinking about it… not nearly enough time just doing it.

That’s when I started to ask: Why not? Why not give it a try? Why not see what happens? Why not go all out and blow the roof off this circus tent with every bit of passion I have? Just about every attempt to answer “why not?” is an excuse. Excuses only hold us back. Excuses only weigh us down. So, damn the torpedoes! Full steam ahead!

History is not made by those who give in to traditions. History is made by those daring enough to break the mold and create something new. As an old Chinese proverb states, “one who walks in another’s steps leaves no footprints.” I don’t want to end my days in a sea of regrets. I want to soar through the sky even if it kills me. So… why not? Why not carve my own path and go all out? It’s not like I’ll ever know for sure if all those speculations were invalid or correct unless I take myself out for a test drive and see what I can do, right?

 

Oh, that reminds me. A few days ago, I sent in a proposal to the Guinness World Records committee. Just thought I’d mention it as the wait for their reply has me doing somersaults. Just another 3-5 weeks to go. But, let me not get too ahead of myself. After all, patience is still a virtue.

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Vertical Expressions of Horizontal Desires

Posted on 04/26/2011 by Mihkael Fournier

Over the edge, but under the radar, I was side-stepping reality against its will. That’s when she caught my heart. Trapped! Wrapped up in fly paper and stuck to her thighs like a cruel joke. What a shame I never had the desire to sniff glue.

Of course, the impending eventually happened. All hell broke loose and it was then I knew it was time I dropped the hammer and blazed a trail straight out of Dodge. Ah… but to think! I was going to miss it all! The audience was already gathering by this point, waiting to see her playing the starring role in some undocumented homicide. Sure, they knew the rumors. They’ve sung them by campfires across this barren land since the dawn of tune. And I knew her. Yeah, you could say I knew her well – well enough to have known she’d stage her own death just before the encore. There was no way in hell she’d pass that up. Are you kidding me? Still, got to love a tragedy, you know.

Get your cola and popcorn, children. Act I is coming soon.

Screaming down the highway at a hundred ninety-eight miles an hour – the only way to die – I found lost somewhere in a forgotten nightmare. Soon, those hounds would be on my heels again. It was only a matter of time now, this I knew as well. She always had such a hard time with letting go.

Behind door number three awaits a steaming pile of political satire, scorching in the heat of a nuclear winter. The grand prize never was a surprise. In fact, history tells us that it’s been there since 1893, festering with anticipation.

Oh, color me in multiple shades of reckless abandonment. I have no intentions on going back there. None less, these wounds won’t lick themselves. Damn, the temptation.

Somewhere beyond that horizon, salvation lays its legs open. Somewhere beyond that horizon, there’s a cabaret that never closes. If only we can all make it there by nightfall, the sun will never have a reason to rise again. If only we can make it there, we can dance our sanity away.

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Zen and the Art of Losing Your Mind

Posted on 04/20/2011 by Mihkael Fournier

Part One: Great Minds Don’t Think

Crazy how the media loves to chase down an athlete after a goal, a win, or a performance to conduct that standard interview, starting with that ever-famous question: “what was going through your mind?” In the history of sports, has anyone ever answered that question with “well, I was studying the angles and taking in account for wind resistance and forward momentum…” No. Why? Because, at that moment of execution, the mind goes blank. It becomes all about action and split-second compensation for given x-factors the mind comes across in that moment. Action/reaction, there’s no thought involved.

When dancers are up on stage, they don’t think, “okay, turn, lift right leg and swing it across at a forty-five degree angle over to the left, drop and bow, rise, spin…” Of course not. They rehearse endlessly until those movements are second-nature. When they give that performance, their minds are more-so just “going for the ride” while they go through the motions they have programmed their bodies to do. If they actual thought about each motion, they would more than likely crash into one another… much like they did on that first night of rehearsal when they were just learning the steps. There’s a huge difference between thinking about the motions and giving the appearance that one naturally just “feels the music” with skill and precision. When thoughts are removed, instinct takes over. Dancers practice those moves until they become instinctive. That’s the very thing that makes those performances so beautiful and inspiring to watch.

Thoughts can get in the way and slow a person down. I could go on and on citing examples – how a soldier or law enforcement officer would be shot while thinking about a reaction rather than simply reacting or how a child would be burned alive if fire rescue sat around outside the house that’s on fire and discussed what would be the safest way to enter it. The point is all these people: the athletes, the dancers, et cetera… they all spend hours and hours training themselves to act and react on a programmed instinct. They take an idea, the attached string of thoughts, and a desired outcome and make a formula or sorts in which they program themselves to follow once that moment comes when that program is needed. This same process can be applied to any aspect in life. Take a job interview. Go to enough of them, one learns there are a similar set of questions asked of us. There’s the body language to watch for as the reactions to our answers. There’s a great deal involved, actually. But, all of what’s involved can be studied and, from studying, there’s a formula we can derive and implement to ensure our success. Same for sales as both are children of that same beast. On an interview, you’re selling yourself. You become whatever product or service for which they are seeking out. When selling a service or a product, you are trying to convince someone that whatever you have is exactly what they need or should desire. We can train ourselves, like thespians in a play, to act and react on a programmed instinct. Hell, we do this while trying to get a date for Friday night, right? It’s all the same beast.

For other aspects of life, like achieving dreams, programming ourselves becomes a bit more complicated. However, it still can be done. I believe all that lies in breaking down the macrocosmic “big picture” down to its microcosmic aspects and details. Breaking it down like this allows one to sort it all out in manageable stages. One has to learn to crawl before one can walk. One has to know how to walk before one can learn to run, jump, or dance, et cetera. Each of these stages can be formulated and practiced until the action/reaction is second-nature to us. In fact, those formulas are already out there if one looks. Unless you are trying to become something the worlds never seen before, someone before you has already been it. They followed a series of steps to become whatever they are, right? Of course, what worked for them may or may not work for you. Different x-factors can be involved, such as timeline, the people they interacted with along way, and (the ever-so obvious) you are not them and they are not you. Therefore, adjustments are necessary to update those formulas so they can work for you. That’s almost a given, though… or it should be, at least.

[Just to add this… when I’m doing any form of art, I think about the project I wish to create prior to creating it – simply because one cannot create without knowing what one wants to create, or at least, what direction they’re going in with the project. There’s always a desired outcome, regardless of how vague that outcome may be. But, when it comes to the creative process itself, I spend more time just acting and reacting than I do thinking about what I’m doing. Most of the time, whatever I’m creating “tells me” what needs to be done and I simply react to that. The reason for that is simple. I have found over the years, the things that I created “in the moment” – with little or no thought involved – are appreciated more than the works I’ve done where I spent day and night beating myself up thinking about it. Odd how that works out, but I thought I’d mention it.]

Although all of this sounds good, I’m betting some of you are wondering how successful this “non-thinking” or “unthinking” can be, right? It’s all in the approach, really… and that approach is all about your level of confidence on one side and all about opportunity. The more you do something, the more confidence you have in yourself in doing it. That’s just something one builds – experience. The more confidence you have, as it works out, the less time you’re spending thinking about what you’re doing. And there lies the whole fallacy of thought. Here’s what I’m talking about: every time someone is unsure of the answer they are about to give to a question, they use the disclaimer “I think” meaning “I’m unsure.” In thinking, we open the door for all sorts of nasty thoughts, like doubt. Therefore, it’s better to take the approach knowing you can do it rather than thinking you can do it.

Doubt is a confidence killer. It’s also a dream killer. The moment you doubt your ability, you start to lose your ability. Your ability needs focus and, more importantly, your confidence in it to work. Same holds true when it comes to chasing your dreams. The more you think about what you’re doing rather than just doing it, the more risk you take for that crushing thought-wave to come crashing down on you: “Am I wasting my time?” You are when you start to entertain that inquiry. Otherwise, no. The pursuit of your dreams and the desire to do something you’re passionate about (and what makes you happy) should never be thought of as a burden or a frivolous endeavor. For fuck sakes! It’s what makes you happy, right? It’s what you are most passionate about in life, right? You’re always thinking about it – hell, you’re nearly consumed by it. Almost every minute you spend not pursuing your dream is the waste of time.

Of course, when you’re off the game clock or off stage, take a pause – relax – refuel. You’ll need to for the sake of your sanity. Sure, time off the clock is also time to prepare and program yourself for the next action, whatever that may be. Be that as it may, resting and relaxing are all apart of that pursuit. You just have to take the cue and know when you’ve rested enough. You have to know when it’s time to get back up and make waves again. Without a refueling of your energies (physical, mental, creative, etc.), you’ll be running on fumes when it comes time to perform again… and that never has done anyone any good.

Anyway, before I get side-tracked again, the second part of all of this is opportunity. That… well, that you often have to make yourself rather than waiting for it. The method I use for that is a simple one: instead of ever asking myself why I should do something, I ask myself “why not?” (Guess you can now figure out what Part Two will be about, yes? Damn, you’re smart!)

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Cerebral Self-Destruction

Posted on 03/17/2011 by Mihkael Fournier

Damn. It’s been a while since I sat down here and typed one of these things out, huh? Well, as the (very) little-known joke goes: “Hiatus is not just a state of mind… it’s also an exit off the Port Everglades Expressway down in the southern end of Florida.” (Hey, I never said it was a good joke.)

So now, I’m back. Still surviving life and enduring my desires any way I can, still savagely chasing down my dreams like a starving predator, and still as unpredictable as a herpes outbreak. But, lucky you… I’m back to tell the world about it as if all of this actually made some sort of sense.

Over the last several weeks, as some of you good people already know, I’ve been utterly overwhelmed with moving, unpacking, and donating off pieces of my life. This, needless to say, has been a personal hell for me. At some point along the way, I decided to try and balance out the depression akin to living in a personal hell with all of that I’ve been inspired by since childhood. About five days ago, I hit the point of complete saturation with both. Talk about sensory overload! Hell, I’m surprised my brain hasn’t decided to explode simply out of self-amusement. I’ve honestly been expecting it.

Yes, folks… I became overly saturated with inspiration. The amount of ideas pouring out of my head feels like someone broke a dam and my environment is beginning to flood with blueprints and project notes as a result. Hell, if I had the financial backing to accomplish half these plans, I’d make history with at least one or two of them.

I know… sounds like my ego’s inflating, right? Well, as much as I would love to agree with that, I know better. As far as I can tell, no one else is doing any of these projects I’m thinking about. The only possible reasons that I thought of at first: either no one else has thought of them or no one else thinks they’re worth doing. Call me optimistic (which would be a first for me), but I’d still like to think it’s not the latter.

There is, however, another possible reason. I thought of this one later on: there could very well be others out there with similar ideas in their head and running into the very same problem I am – lack of finances. This is quite possible, actually. I mean, there are just a set number of ideas one can have, right? And, given what finite number of ideas out of that set that is plausible enough to manifest into a tangible reality, I’m fairly sure this phenomenon is ever-so present. Sure, the variations of how these ideas can be manifested are purely out of a person touch. No two artists create the same piece even when given the same subject. Still, I do feel as if it’s a race against time none-less. I rather get my versions out there first. Not because I’m competitive, mind you. No. It’s because there’s always the next project and my list of those is building up most dramatically.

And, now, for a confession. Not because I’m Catholic. No. It’s because I want to give it.

I tend to be all too often most analytical. Of course, I’m also most selective as to what I’m willing to analyze. For instance, when the trailer was airing for The Matrix – before it even hit theatres – I noticed how everyone was dazzled by the latest cinematic effect debuting therein. The effect was a visual rotation around a still image. When I told those I went to college with my theory on how that was shot, they thought I was talking out of my ass. They ate those words later on, however, when the makers of that film revealed publicly how that imagery was done. As it turned out, I was only off by how many cameras they used in a semi-circle to simultaneously capture that single moment in time – the still scene.

Those are of the things I analyze… things like cinematic tricks used on the silver screen and the many ways a story can be told. I also analyze music, magic tricks, artworks of any type, etc. – all which are things that inspire me and spark my creativity. Outside of that… I analyze my actions and mistakes. And, no… unlike with The Matrix, I’m not always correct in my analysis. Actually, I’m correct only about 80% of the time when it comes to that I’m inspired by and only about 20% of the time when it comes to well… living life. And, it’s because of that low success rate, I absolutely refuse to even bother with analyzing anyone else’s life or behavior. Hell, I don’t even get the hints thrown at me by those “real people” in my life most of the time, so why should I bother trying to analyze them? I mean, it’s impossible to try to figure out something you’re not even aware of, right? Isn’t that what we have come to know as being “illogical?” (Ironically, I never miss what’s being foreshadowed in a storyline. Odd, huh?)

So, inspiration… yeah… damn. How easy is it to get all side-tracked? Don’t answer that. That was rhetorical. Hey… what’s that ticking sound?

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Empty Spaces

Posted on 01/21/2011 by Mihkael Fournier

When writing a story, I have found how easy it is to gravitate to the “black and white” and to the “cause to effect” with the storyline. It is also all too easy to stay confined to the linear way of thinking while staying within these self-induced bounds of certainty. But, over the last few days, I have spent my time re-watching the old HBO series, “Carnivàle,” and asked myself these two questions: “what was it about this series that drew the viewers in?” and “why did it only run for just two seasons?” Somehow, in some semi-cosmic, hap-hazardous way, I am starting to think that these two “events” (for the lack of a better word) relate.

Doing a story in straight black and white leaves nothing to the imagination. If you’re as old as I am, or at least close, you’ll remember the three years we all debated whether or not Darth Vader was really Luke’s father. Three long, blistering, “fuck politics and everything else” years! Imagine that! Damn! Talk about captivating your audience! Of course, in our current ADD society, this would be damn near impossible to pull off. To keep an audience in suspense up to six months, sure… maybe that could be done. But, not three years. Let’s be reasonable.

Alright, not quite a shining example. We all know there was a Light and Dark Side of the Force – black and white, right? But, wait… what about the anti-hero, Han Solo? Smuggler? Drifter? Pirate? Hung out with a gambling con-man back in the day, he did. Won the Millennium Falcon in a card game against him, he did. Not really the text book definition of a “good guy,” right? And what about those bounty hunters? Not really “bad guys,” you know? Hell, we celebrate a guy called “Dog” who stars on his own bounty hunting reality show. A class act “good guy.” In our accepted reality, a “good guy” is just someone who works for money and has a running loyalty to whatever law and government happens to be in power. With that in mind, who was the real “bad guys” in “Star Wars?” Hmmm… was it the Rebel Alliance all along? No! Really? Well… maybe. (Damn. I got a bad feeling about this one.)

See? It’s all a matter of opinion on which is black and which is white when you get down to it. And, as crazy as that sounds, it’s thoughts like this that I have discovered a good storyline plays with graciously in creating that tale which just sucks us in. We become obsessed with trying to figure out a good suspense. We become addicted to those little debates. Is this person evil? What is really going on? Who is going to blank who? (Feel free to fill in the blank with whatever you like.) It’s the “gray area” that keeps us coming back for more. People love to waste time trying to sort out the given “facts” and categorize them according to if they feel it was “good” and “evil.” It gives them something to do… and grants them that excuse to feel more (or less) superior to others, in comparison, based on how much they think they’ve figured out and how many elements in the tale they have classified as being black or white. (This phenomenon, whatever you wish to call it, is just the thing I think a writer should look for when he or she is trying to decide on which direction to take that next episode… and which grouping of popular opinion should be put to shame in the process.)

Life itself is filled with gray areas. So, to make a story realistic, it also must be filled with gray areas. The lines between what can be perceived as either good or evil should not only be blurred, but completely crooked as well. Think of the Yin and the Yang – in each, a percentage of the other. Like Darth Vader having a bit of Light inside him remaining and Luke on the edge of giving into his hate and falling to the Dark Side, there was still some of the other in both characters. (Talk about a dysfunctional family!) Therefore, let me also add that nothing in a story should be completely black nor totally white. This is why I believe it is important to plot out the story first, these tendencies to put things into black and white must be as indefinable as possible while retaining a certainty to which character is the protagonist and which is the antagonist. (It is also chiefly important to remember that neither one has to be “good” or “evil,” and, in my opinion, labeling either character as being one or the other should appear to be an impractical undertaking.)

On a side note: We have all come to know that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to be believable while the truth never does… and, often, is not even believable at all. As a writer, I think playing a bit with what is already believable and how convincing I can be with the lies I’m writing is the key to that ever-famous “suspension of disbelief.” Therefore, I had planned to experiment with this concept by pushing my tales into those realms of the bizarre and see how believable a fiction truly has to be. I’m sure that will be evident with my first novel, “The Misadventures of Mason Stone, Private Eye.” Guess we’ll all just have to wait and see how experimenting with this idea turns out, huh? As for myself, I’m shaking with anticipation.

Now… how about the “cause to effect” element? Often, a writer comes up with a series of scenes and tries to link them all together somehow. And, often, these scenes have nothing to do with an action and its reaction as the plot itself is concerned, but in small fraction in and of themselves. Man pulls out a gun (cause), second man pulls out his (effect). First man fires his gun at the second man (action). The second man returns the favor (reaction).

Why these men are firing upon one another should have something to do with the plot of the story, but too often, it does not. Like the generosity of explosions and gunfights Hollywood has tossed us over the years, they’re just pretty to watch. As a society, we’re casualty vampires. We love to watch a good train wreck. We rejoice at the sound of an explosion much like the Pavlov’s cat responds to his dinner bell. We love gratuitous violence. It’s our drug of choice.

Personally, I think Hollywood relies on pyrotechnics and special effects far too much, but this is something to keep in mind when writing a story. It’s its own language, violence – one language which is universal and easily understood in every dialect. (By the way, so is every other dominating emotion we can experience outwardly.) And, so long as one can make it an integral aspect of the plotline, I see no reason to exclude such things. It just has to make sense to the story, though.

I think the second film in the “Matrix” trilogy, as well as the third, illustrates a bit more clearly this principle and how it can fail. Both films truly seemed like a series of scenes slapped together. Neo went from one fight to the next and to the one following without any clear reason why these fights were important to the storyline. In fact, both films seemed to just be highlights of the special effects used in the first film and nothing more. The temptation to write a story like this is too great. When a writer comes up with a great scene, it’s as if he or she just did an 8-ball of cocaine. That writer goes crazy… and that’s easily seen by the first grouping of people of whom that writer reveals that revelation along with the details of that scene. If this excited the others, the results become explosive (pun intended). In the writing room, this domino effect yields to creating a whole storyline in under two days. What is the quality of that storyline? Well, just watch the “Matrix” trilogy and you’ll see.

A good storyline needs to be raised much like a cannabis plant. The seed must be germinated properly, then planted, nourished, and allowed to grow. (Sure, one can use some fertilizer, but one also must remember that fertilizer is often just shit. Too much shit in the soil or in a story is never a good thing.) After it comes to fruition, it can be harvested and prepared for consumption. If it’s strong enough, the audience will desire more.

When a tale is just a series of scenes, it leaves hole in the plot big enough to drive a semi through. These holes are empty spaces and the tendency to fill them with shit is all too great. I say don’t. Instead, delay the effects after the cause with something that would support the next cause. Stack the effects if desired for a grander impact. This will create more interest and doesn’t lose anyone in the process. That’s my theory, anyway.

So, why was “Carnivàle” so captivating in the first season and canceled after the second? The first season was unpredictable. The plot was almost shrouded by the amount of subplots that spun around it like buzzards. The writers were not overly concerned about reaching conclusions. Comme la vie… no real direction, just possibilities. The second season, however, worked way too much towards getting the protagonist and antagonist together in that final conflict. Of course, the first flaw was the concept of a “final conflict” that wasn’t intended to be final at all. The second flaw was in that “bringing the forces together.” That could have been dragged out. There could have been a few “near misses” where the antagonist shows up just after the protagonist left the area, and vice versa. More could have been added in the quest for olde Henry Scutter… like with the first season, there could be more clues hidden in the debris in the wake of his travels. More twists, more turns, more meat. This series could’ve easily ran for five more seasons before ever needing that “final conflict.” All that was needed was a bit of that mystery we were craving to be nurtured and some of those black and white elements to be smeared gray.

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Crimes of Things to Come

Posted on 12/28/2010 by Mihkael Fournier

Ladies and gentlemen, variations thereof, and our esteemed members of the press, I thank you for taking a moment out of your daily lives to spend a little time in mine. With the New Year approaching, many of us are thinking about making resolutions and trying to trick ourselves into believing that the phrase: “and this year, I really mean it,” means something more than an empty promise. I am here to join you on that. Please allow me to explain a little about why.

Recently, I’ve been reading a friend’s blog and all about his amazing year. Now, my dear readers, let me tell you that this cat went all out with it, too. From trotting the globe to learning a new language and a smorgasbord of things between, he has accomplished in just one year what many dream about for a whole lifetime. I would like to encourage you all to take his Yearly Challenge and get something more from life than unfulfilled dreams.

When he told me about this challenge, I decided to take him up on it. That was last year. Unfortunately, I have not accomplished my yearly goals yet, but I am a hell of a lot closer to doing so than I was when I set those goals. Currently, my novel is about 16 chapters in and I had projected a total of 28 chapters in all. I have set things aside in order to move and downsize my life. But, I have already started writing again and, within a few days, I will start writing chapter 17. I should be finishing up this novel by March. I had planned on completing it by January, but a few monkey wrenches have been tossed in for which I was not prepared. Of course, I am talking about the whole moving into a new apartment thing.

The other book I had planned on completing was my first photography book, “An Intimate Collection of Crazy Ideas.” This one’s a bit trickier than the novel in two regards. The first is in publication. I’m not sure I can get it out there without finding a publishing house to produce it. I know that with the novel, I can always go with eBooks and get it out that way. But, is that possible with photography? I have some homework to do, obviously.

The second difference lies in material. Sure, I have taken hundreds of photos from which I can choice, but I have that urge to go much further than I have with my work before doing the final selections for production. In other words, even with all the insanity I have already frozen in time, my mind craves that horizon and what lies just on the other side of it. (Alright, yeah… that didn’t explain shit.)

I guess I should go into what inspires me as a photographer a bit so you can get an idea of what I mean. You see, I’m addicted to the absurd, obsessed with the obscure, and bound by desire to find the beauty in the bizarre. But, what attracts me above all else? Visual satire and surrealism.

I would like to blend more elements with the photos I’m putting in this book and I am itching to rekindle my lust for the weird. So far, I feel I’ve just scratched the surface with the work I’ve done. Sure, I write that because I believe the work a photographer should try to out-do is that which was created on his/her last shoot. Don’t get me wrong, though. I am happy with what I’ve shot so far. I just strive to go further each time I go out to do a shoot. Really, we should always try to out-do ourselves. That’s what helps us grow as artists. That’s the process of our evolution.

So, with all this in mind, I’ve decided that, in this coming year, I will shoot those ideas I have to complete this project. I will go further than I have before as a guerrilla photographer, shooting in some of the oddest of locations and creating these visions I had for years now swimming about in my head. And, sure… I would love to go into more detail on exactly what that all entails, but that would be like telling you what I got you for your birthday before giving you the wrapped box I stuck it in. I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise, you know?

In addition to getting these two books finished, I would like to be finished with the second novel of this Mason Stone trilogy I’m writing as well. But, no… that’s not all. There’s one more thing I would like to accomplish – and as soon as I can! What could that be, you ask? I am in serious need of an income and I am hellbent on putting an end to all this job searching I’ve done for the last 18 months now. I’ve put in more applications than I care to count and, as everyone knows, looking for work doesn’t pay a dime towards the bills. And, yes… this income should come from a job which required more than my skills as a trained monkey, but at this point, I’m not too picky. Anything I can do without going totally insane will be fine. Of course, I would love to find stability and a healthy income from being an artist/photographer/writer/clown magician alone. Who wouldn’t? (Don’t answer that. Seriously. That was a rhetorical question).

Somehow, stability has long eluded me. In 2011, that will all change. In fact, everything will change. My reality will be completely altered… and by my hands. By hook or by crook, I will make these dreams come true.

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Playing God

Posted on 12/20/2010 by Mihkael Fournier

This lesson will teach you that which Dr. Victor Frankenstein could have only dreamed about: how to play god. Yes, this lesson’s all about how to create people, their realities, their allies, their enemies, and all the things that drive the story to its conclusion – no matter how it ends.

Mind you, at this point in the game, there’s no real need yet for an actual story. In fact, it’s better right now if you don’t have one. This way, you’re not married to an idea and forcing yourself to be confined by it. So, before the confusion grows into something you’re not completely prepared to tame, let me just jump into the middle of this lesson and we’ll work our way out from there.

What you’re going to need for this lesson are a bundle of notebooks and a pack of pens. As old fashion as that sound, these are your tools of the trade and should be kept near you at all times. Oh sure, laugh. But, you’ll thank me in the end. One cannot simple bust out a laptop wherever one can be found, like while on the john for example. But, ideas and inspiration will hit you wherever you are… especially while on the john for some strange reason. Sick as it may sound, the one room of your house where most of your ideas are going to slap you is the lavatory. (Hey, I didn’t write the rule on that one. So, for what it’s worth, just accept it and let’s move on. There’s so much more ground to cover and no reason to argue over weird little facts.)

In the first notebook, write down everything strange, stray thought that comes to mind. Record in this your spouts of psychobabble, all those severed conversations those voices in your head have, and any unusual quirk and trait you have observed in your daily life. (You should already have this notebook already from lesson one, by the way. Just thought I’d let you know.)

The second notebook will contain whatever random, story-less characters that spawn out of the dark recesses of your imagination. And, yes you need to create them. They will come in handy… and often. So, each page of this notebook should be filled with character profiles. Each profile should look much like those dossiers the FBI would keep on you – a complete record of all of everything that identifies a person. Not just a physical description with an attached name, but personality traits, hobbies, and personal philosophies as well; everything that makes that person “that person.”

Damn, that’s asking a lot, huh? Well, alright. I’m a nice guy. Here’s a little guide you should keep in mind. But, before I do, I have to tell you something. Are you listening? Good. Alright… do not use the following list in the order I’m giving it to you. Yeah, don’t use an order at all, in fact. Don’t start each one with a name. Sure, you can write a name up in the top, right-hand corner when you’re done for a flag. But, don’t start with a name. Start with the shell. Start with the hobbies, if you want, or with some concept of a political alignment. Why not? But, write a few sections of a given profile first and allow the name to come to you from them. It’s much harder to do it the other way. Starting with a name and then trying to describe a person to match it is rubbish. That method usually results in a character that’s a product of some shallow, one-dimensional stereo-type. (Give yourself a moment to think about that, cool?) Alright, moving on. Here’s what the profile should contain thrown into an easy to bleed list. And, any time you come across an “if any,” try to fill in something. If they don’t have a spiritual belief, list why. No political alignments? Fine. Describe what viewpoints they possess and employ. Try to give as much information as you can muster. Even if you don’t mention any or all of this in the stories you write using them, this collection of input will give you a nice guide to follow. It will be there when you are writing dialogue and trying to figure out what these people would say, how they would say it, and why they would say what they do, and so on.

  • Gender
  • Age
  • Birthplace, Place of Upbringing, and Present Residence
  • Wardrobe of Choice, if any
  • Occupation(s), if any
  • Goals and/or Ambitions in Life
  • Likes/Dislikes
  • Strengths/Weaknesses
  • Common Role in a Story: Antagonist, Protagonist, Anti-Hero, or What?
  • Sexual Preferences and Fetishes, if any
  • Name and Alias, if any
  • Type of Vehicle this Person would Drive, if any
  • Lifestyle(s) of Choice
  • Personal History
  • Level of Education, if any
  • Family Background and Interactions
  • Pets of Choice, if any (and fill this out, even if they haven’t any pets in the story)
  • Musical Interests, if any
  • Film Genres of Interests, if any
  • Food and Drinks of Choice (this can be fun to come up with, but eat something first)
  • Personal Philosophies on Life
  • Spiritual Beliefs, if any
  • Political Views, if any
  • Sports of Interests, if any
  • Hobbies, if any
  • Quirks, Characteristics, and Distinguishing Traits (and, no… they have them)
  • Desires and Dark Secrets, if any (and, come on.. we all have them, so dig deep)
  • Scars, Marks, and/or Tattoos and the Story behind Them
  • Criminal Record, if any
  • Level of Passivity/Aggression

You may not fill in every one, but you should know this person as if they were actually in your life somewhere. And that’s why I’ve been calling them a “person” rather than a “character.” The reason for that is simple. As a writer, you should have more depth to your story than the story itself can hold.

If you’re turned on the television and switched the channel over to a news program, you should know your characters well enough to answer these questions:

  1. How would you character react to what you are witnessing here?
  2. What might your character say to you if they were watching this crap with you?
  3. What would your character suggest as an alternative activity to watching this crap on your television?

Knowing those answers will help when you get into writing the story and have to decide how the story moves from one chapter to the next. Having this knowledge gives you a certain comfort level when it comes to expanding and contracting the length of your story. But, most importantly, when it comes to knowing what kind “reality” you could put this character into to get the most out of a storyline, you will have a wealth of information on them with which, you can screw with that character more accurately.

See? What makes a story interesting is taking characters and putting them in the most “uncomfortable” situation that you can possibly concoct, decide how they would react to it, and tell the tale about whether or not they succeed in getting out of it.

This is where the third notebook comes in, creating those “realities.” Once you have a few characters created, come up with some ideas about how you could twist and turn their “lives” inside out. Start small, if you wish. House fires, for example, or maybe the old “on the way to work one day” scenario. Then, get crazy with it. Go extreme with these ideas, even if you never really use them. This will help you become more creative in the long run and when you actually start writing the story, you will be much more comfortable in doing it than you would otherwise.

But, wait… there’s more. The last notebook. In this one, you should write random bits of monologue or dialogue that your characters would have with one another or if just talking aloud for whatever reason. Also, start writing essays using the perspective viewpoints of your characters. What would they say about a given topic? Creating this notebook will bring those characters to life. It will give you that personal connection with them needed for your audience to connect with them.

Think of it this way: say you were going to write a short story about someone. Would it be easier to write about someone you have known for a number of years or that guy sitting on the bench you saw while driving pass the park at 45mph? Think about it.

Well, that should be enough for you to think about for now. Just remember, when you start coming up with what you need to in order to fill those pages up, you can always resort to writing some psychobabble to help you come up with ideas.

By and by, those notebooks will become your best friends one day. They may even become your harem of lovers, who knows? Hell, they might even multiply on you every once in a while, giving you a vast fountain of life from which you can drink from until the end of days. (And why not? I have more notebooks than I care to count and have been collecting them for years now.) This will be your new library of thought, categorized and characterized by chaos itself. You will refer back to it more times than you visit your mailbox and you’ll come to rely on it more than you would aspirin. So, write in them regularly and keep filling those pages with whatever comes to mind.

Oh, one last thing… many storytellers, at some point in their career, have been hit with the desire to reuse certain characters again and again. Some have even wanted to use many characters in multiple stories, as in the case of epic tales, sequels, and in some running series. Having those notebooks are great when it comes following through on those desires. Bear that in mind. It might be on the exam at the end of this term.

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Are You Experienced?

Posted on 12/12/2010 by Mihkael Fournier

It’s a well-known fact that one cannot create outside of one’s experiences, just as it is well-known that experience is the best teacher. Writers have a bit of an artistic license, sure. “Star Wars,” for example, doesn’t seem like it was written from experience, right? Wrong. No, I’m not saying anyone was off in a galaxy far, far away, then came back and wrote the script. But, many of the elements of that script, the characters, and the main plotline itself all came from human experience. “Yoda” was inspired by Lao Tzu and Taoism. “Jabba the Hut” was straight out of some mobster crime story… the embodiment of the “Godfather” in slug form. “Anakin Skywalker,” a child whose mother became pregnant with, out of the blue, without a sperm donor? Does that not sound like the story behind Jesus? Everything in fiction has either a factual base from which it came or was formed by combining and manipulating previous works of fiction.

If you watch “Doctor Who,” you are familiar with the alien species known as the “Ood.” This creature carries its brain in its hands. Surely, that breaks the above rule, right? Wrong again. From experience, we know about brains and how vital they are to our existence. Because of this knowledge, we know how vulnerable this organ would be if the skull was not there to protect it. We also know that not all living creatures have such a skull and that some don’t even have a brain in its head, like the cockroach. So, it’s just a minor step to come up with a creature that carries their brains around in their hands. From there, it’s only logic to assume such a creature would not be naturally violent being seeing on how vulnerable they would be in something like warfare. Thus, the “Ood” is based from several facts and the idea of what it would be like to throw them out of whack.

Creating from experience is a bit like taking pieces from several different puzzles and putting them together to form a new image. By using the right number of pieces from each one and combining them with a few other assorted pieces from other concepts, you give depth and life to your creation. And, the more those pieces work with one another, the more believable your creation will be.

So, let’s say, for the sake of an example, that you are about to write a mystery/suspense story about ghosts. The first thing you want to draw from with any story is person, first-hand experience. All that you have lived through can be your best reference section. Why? Because you lived through it. You experienced those events completely and through using all your natural senses. Those events are the most “real” to you and you can pull from them all the details you need. In other words, say this event is the eating of chicken. If you never had chicken yourself, you only perceive the chicken through what you have discovered through observation. But, if you ate the chicken yourself, you would no longer have to rely on how others describe that sensation to you. You would know how it tastes, yourself. You would know how you felt with the meat in your mouth and what thoughts and emotions you had when you swallowed it… without the middle man.

When the first-hand experience is not yours, there’s another way to gain experience: research and plenty of it.

If I was writing that ghost story, I would seek out every tale told on the subject. I would spend hours watching films and shows on the topic and start asking around to see if I could not find those who have stories if their own, personal favorites from the stories they have heard, and find out what they look for in those tales. The more I can add to my knowledge on the subject, the more I have to draw from when I begin to write my own.

But, in doing this, I would suggest going far beyond common knowledge. Of course, learn that which is common so you have some borders to work in. That gives you the common ground needed to open the proper lines of communication to your audience – something they can relate to so you can invite them into the story as witnesses. But, going beyond that which just about everyone else knows earns you the opportunity to share and teach those new experiences to your audience, thus giving you an edge on unexplored angles and gives your work a bit more excitement. With that new edge, unpredictability becomes a tool you can use at will. Without it, you will bore your audience to tears with some rehashed, tired-out re-telling of those tales they more than likely already know by heart.

As far as ghost stories are concerned, we all know that common premise those stories are based on: a disembodied soul trapped in the world of the flesh. Taking it a step further, we have the love story: someone who’s living in love with someone who died or someone who’s living falling in love with someone who died long before they met. We know the revenge tale: a disembodied soul trying to seek justice or retribution for an untimely death, like being murdered. Then, of course, the whole “get out of our house” scenarios circulate about, like in “Poltergeist” or Disney’s “Haunted Mansion,” wherein the living either get chased out of a location or somehow befriends the spirits haunting said establishment and learning to co-exist with one another.

So, how does one take this a few steps further? Well, ever hear a tale about a group of spirits possessing a man’s family in the spirit of holding them hostage so they can use that man to do their bidding? No? Well then, that would be a few steps further, right? That would give you an edge on a new, unexplored idea and enough pieces from a variety of puzzles from which you can build upon that idea. And, if you have heard of that plotline before, then you must experience it for yourself. No other way to see if you can’t take that idea in a new direction, really. One has to keep pushing things further. One must always evolve to that next level. You can only invent the wheel once. After that, you’re just creating duplicates.

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A Lesson in Psychobabble

Posted on 12/03/2010 by Mihkael Fournier

The other day, I found myself engaged in a conversation about the fine art of writing. During this discussion, some questions came up – questions about how to write a novel, what to do when the length of the story needs to be fluffed up a bit, and a couple inquires on the subjects of character plot development.

Alright, long story short. In the aftermath of this conversation, I decided to add this section specifically aimed at those, like myself, who aspire to become novelists. Of course, there are many topics to cover and I’m not quite an expert on these matters. However, I possess the complete and utter confidence (or delusion) that I have a few answers to offer, a handful of ideas to pass around, and a healthy knowledge from which I can share.

Now, the question: where should I start? To answer myself, I must say the best place to start is with exercising the imagination. After all, without an active imagination, one simply cannot come up with things like characters, plots, et cetera, and so on. Sounds logical enough, right?

So, please allow me to introduce to you the first of these exercises. Hailing from the dark recesses of the unconscious human psyche, this first exercise unleashes all those strange, random thoughts you may have while trying to sit through a lengthy, boring lecture on political mishaps or find yourself stuck in the john… without any toilet paper… and just after the electric company shuts your power off for non-payment. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you… “Psychobabble.”

This is a free-form, free-verse style of writing that contains no discernible plotline. There’s no true subjectivity nor a clear and precise objectivity with this bit of writing. In fact, it’s just a little more than an arrangement of colorful sentences that may possibly create an illusion of having some kind an intention behind its existence. None-the-less, it has no meaning at all. That’s because the point of this exercise isn’t about meaning, it’s about exploring. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about:

“Twisted thoughts now stir in the breeze of a long, lost storyline. Rag-tagged memories of those once vivid colors have already turned gray in the mist of our pre-dawn fog and the clock has since forfeited any concept of responsibility. Surely, I cannot be blamed for this. I mean, clearly, it was not even a given choice. I had just gotten out of bed, in fact, and I seriously don’t believe I was completely there at the time. Who’s to say? Maybe I was still onboard a train heading back to last weekend. Do I still need an alibi? Would that truly make a difference? Hell no! The judge has already dismissed the evidence and, besides… I’ve got the munchies anyway.

Oh, make no jokes about it. Here I sit with a cup of coffee in one hand and a target on my forehead. The smoke from my cigarette has begun to recount the minutes of our last meeting and some obscure, shadowy figure has mistakenly let the cat out of the bag. Oh yes. This is all too sudden. This wasn’t even in the original script, if I am recalling everything incorrectly. Regardless, it is time to cash in the chips, tally up the results, and summarize it for this naked audience. No one is comfortable, not even the cat.

Like a strand of hair caught in the teeth of industry, the poet inside me bleeds out all over the page. Fear cautiously walks about with non-slip shoes carrying a butcher knife crafted from the very bowels of a hang-over and there are no hills to run to for shelter. Mark my words: this is no place for children. There’s tossed salad stuck to the ceiling and peanut butter caked to the roof of my mouth. Pop the hood. Grab the cables and let’s jump-start this chaos in celebration of all things green with envy. Hold on tight. You’re here for the duration of this ride.”

Remember, you’re not writing a story here, so there’s no need to worry about anything. Like I wrote above, there are no characters to create, no plot to stick with, no beginning to work out, and no conclusion to reach. Hell, what you write doesn’t necessarily have to make a lick of sense. That’s the whole beauty of psychobabble. It’s merely a simple exercise to get those creative juices flowing. That’s all. (Well… that’s all it is at first. Later on, I’ll refer back to the method of psychobabble writing when we get to developing your writing style, your characters, and your plots. But, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, shall we? Let’s just concentrate on one step at a time.)

 Now, you may be wondering when you should do this exercise and how often. If not, you should be.

This is something you should do every chance you get, really. Specifically, though, you should do this before trying to write anything else, just to get those juices flowing and those thoughts in your head spinning about. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times doing this exercise assisted me in getting over, out, and around countless spells of writer’s block and those foul droughts we intimately know as “creative slumps.” This exercise also aides in getting those much needed creative solutions to the surface. So when you need something humorous to add in some dialogue between the protagonist and the antagonist, et cetera, finding your answers will be more like bobbing for apples and less like deep sea treasure hunting. Many times, you may find the answers you’re looking for in amongst the psychobabble itself. Additionally, it’s not uncommon to come up with new ideas for future literary projects by doing this exercise. The key is to just let it fly out of you – write whatever comes to mind. If you get stuck in the middle of it, change subjects or just hop on over to the other side of whatever it was you were writing and start again. Just like writing free-verse poetry, there are no rules to follow and there’s truly no wrong way to do it. Psychobabble is an absolute “freedom of expression.” In this, all the privileges of your artistic license can be exercised and celebrated without limitation. Bottom line: have fun with this and be as creative as possible.

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Mind Killers

Posted on 11/29/2010 by Mihkael Fournier

Outside the new apartment, I stood and took in the surroundings. Over the fence at the aquatic and recreation complex, there was a lot of activity. On the swing set, two teenage girls sat talking about whatever it is teenage girls talk about on swing sets. Across the way from them, a collection of people in various age groups were engaged in a game of “horse” on a basketball court. The vulgarity of our spoken language flew randomly out of their mouths like a symphony of broken instruments, obscuring all other sound the afternoon had to offer and obscured to my ears by the simple distance between us. Upon the completion of a cigarette, I decided to retreat to my new dwelling. This uncontrolled environment was too much like every day to be very exciting and I was beginning to crave a change of scene.

Inside the apartment, a video documentary of an outlaw journalist’s estranged life creates the atmosphere where I find myself thinking about those days of youth and the words of an unforgotten and unforgettable friend that painted a wide range of images in my mind: “Oh my god, you smell like sex!” My only guess as to why this came bubbling up from the depths of memory comes from knowing that which can be observed can also trigger thoughts behind the eyes of those who witness. Like those girls sitting on swings and having a conversation, for instance. On many nights all those years ago, one could find me in the front yard of a friend’s house on an old picnic table where she and I had endless conversations about everything we could find worth discussing at the time. Oddly enough, all I remember of what we talked about back then were those words. Perhaps this is because they would always find their way into each conversation we had, randomly and without introduction.

Recently, she and I reconnected on a popular social networking site. This event, of course, as mind-blowing as it was for me, was not an isolated incident. Over the last few weeks on this site, a total of eleven out of those days of my past have resurfaced. From what I’ve gathered and experienced, this sort of thing happens all the time.

I must say that I am happy to have a chance to reconnect with these people. Each of them played quite a significant role in my life in their own special way and it’s been fantastic to learn what had happened to them over these years. It’s funny, though. Most of them either had been married at least once or is currently married. Likewise, most of them have children now close to the ages they were when I last saw them.

(Now comes the part where I am hoping no one becomes offended.)

Back in our youth, we weren’t afraid to dream. As we saw it, the world around us was open for business and the possibilities were uncountable. We could dare to aspire and we did so with ease. True, a great number of us saw the large possibility of a global war destroying everything mankind had built for their “future generations,” and we countered that idea with dreams of life in an apocalyptic existence. But, no matter what our dreams were at the time, the passion to follow them or the ability to decide upon which one to follow, most of us lacked.

Sure, many of the things we dreamed about were unrealistic, either because those events which had to take place before those dreams could be realized never happened (like WWIII) or because the doubts we’ve developed over the years that they could be realized somehow got in the way. Be it what it may, I don’t remember anyone saying that they wanted to be a single parent caught in a struggle to make ends meet nor do I recall any of us saying we wanted to flip hamburgers or pump gas for a living, either. And, of course, I’m not saying that any of us turned out that way, nor am I saying that one cannot be content living lives as a gas station attendant or fast food employee. I’m just saying that none of us ended up starting up that commune of peace-loving artists or building up that army of sociopathic survivalists. None of us are on stage performing to crowds of horny, naked women or swimming in a sea of money, either. There’s not one person among us who rules a nation, who lives in a mansion, or who is married to a movie star. Those dreams never came to be.

So, in light of this, I thought I would share a few thoughts on dreams and aspirations.

First, let me assure you that those dreams we had, as improbable as they seem, were not an absolute impossibility. For example, if the world had experienced an apocalyptic end, the likelihood of building an army would be more realistic in appearance than they are to us now. In more probable terms, if one had moved to L.A. and sought out to be a part of that Tinsel Town scene, the likelihood of marrying a successful thespian would be more of a possibility than it would be to someone living in a suburb of a city on the other coast of America.

This is the presentation of the opportunity. Be it an invitation to it or finding a way to bring it upon yourself, the closer you is to where your dream is more likely to come to life, the more likely it is to come to life. In other words, don’t expect the dream to come to you. If you’re not willing to travel to the ends of the Earth in the pursuit of your dream, it’s not very likely at all that you will even come close to catching it.

Secondly, there’s the issue of talent and skill. Someone with no sense of rhythm and no ability to play an instrument (or sing) is far less likely to find themselves on stage than someone who has rhythm and a few years of experience of playing music. Therefore, it’s better to pursue something you have not only the passion to pursue, but a natural talent for as well. This is not to disregard anything you can learn, obviously. A surgeon has to learn his or her trade before they can operate. Although, if you’re accident prone, have shaky hands, or a weak stomach, performing surgeries isn’t something you will be able to do without the likelihood of being sued for malpractice afterwards. Things like this are best to keep in mind when deciding on which dream to pursue.

Next up to bat, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson…

The idea that you are just one of billions on this planet should, by no means, prevent you from believing you will be lost in the shuffle or that it is impossible to stand out. If you have to, sit down and start a list of all those “famous people” whom you admire and whom inspires you. If you have listed any names at all, even if it was just one person, congratulations! You have successfully debunked the idea that one cannot rise above the masses and be set apart.

That idea is what we humans call “doubt.” Doubt, like fear and indecision, is a mind killer. Mind killers are self-induced and self-defeating… and the quicker you realize that, the better off you will be. If you start believing in your doubts, or start giving into your fears, you will begin to lose your passion and drive to achieve your goals. Trust me on this one, folks… that’s no way to live. And if you never decide to “make your move,” you will never go anywhere.

As far as the doubts in the minds around you… fuck ‘em. Did they not doubt that man would walk on the surface of the moon? Did they not doubt that the Titanic would sink or that the Wright brothers would ever get off the ground? Those doubts are not warranted, nor should you make them your own.

In all honesty, that whole concept of doubt should be seen as what it truly is, an opinion. An opinion, by its very definition, is not a statement of fact. It has no value, no substance, and no weight of its own. It is only as “real” as you allow it to be and it can only stop you if you give it permission.

If you begin to pursue a dream, see it through to the end. Never give up, never give in, and never surrender. Sure, you will have to make sacrifices. Of course, you will face some serious, mind-blowing challenges. Absolutely, there are risks involved and, at times, you will have to make leaps of faith. Why should that stop you? If you want to bring your dream to life, you have to live. From that very first step towards your desired destination, you have to be prepared to face all those pesky little things in your way. In doing so, the idea of merely “existing” must be abandoned and those haunting mind killers must be put to rest. They must be made the first casualties of this war.

Finally… if you truly believe you have to be crazy to make it in life, I say go and be crazy! Hell, you might even start to enjoy that freedom being crazy will bring. It is, I assure you, most liberating.

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